Sim Soaps

"Well that honeymoon seemed a lot shorter than a week." Lisa said as she ate her salad. Martin sort of grunted and barly looked up from his salad. "The nights don’t get much prettier than this, why don’t we go for a swim tonight? When I was a teenager me an Jordan would always go skinny dipping while my parents slept!" Lisa had a playful grin on her face.

"You’re joking right? You know that I have a report to write about the side effects of coming in contact with the saliva of a Laganaphyllis Simnovorii. Besides why would I ever want to remind you of your childhood memories with Jordan?" Lisa’s smile quickly faded.

"I’m full, I’m going to take a shower and go to bed." Lisa stuffed the rest of her salad into her mouth.

"Don’t wait up for me.." Lisa kissed Martin on the forehead before leaving the room.

The next day Martin decided to call in sick for work to work on his report. Lisa was at the hospital, working 8 hours a day as a nurse. While Martin was doing research online he heard a splash in the backyard

"You’re trespassing! Get off my property right now you scumbag… and… uh… trailer trash!"

Jordan slowly and cooly climbed up the pool ladder. "You’ve obviously never seen my house." Jordan shook the water out of his hair.

"Get away from here Jordan! Can’t you tell? You’re not wanted here! I don’t want you here, and Lisa doesn’t want you here! Did she even look at you during our wedding? No, because she is over you and your muscles. She wants a real man."

"Oh you think you’re a real man? Besides I didn’t come here to win Lisa back, I just came here to thank you for slapping me in front of ALL my friends." Martin back up as he saw Jordan’s muscles tighten more and more.

Before Martin had enough sense to run away Jordan had grabbed him by the shirt and threw him to the ground. Martin tried to get up but Jordan held him down with his foot. Jordan put his face inches away from Martin’s. "Take care of my girl Martin or you’ll have to deal with me."

As soon as Jordan started walking away Martin ran back towards his house. He stood in his doorway. "Yeah you better leave Jordan, before.. before I call the cops on you. I’ll get restraining orders against you for me and Lisa." Jordan didn’t even turn around.

Martin quickly called his brother, Joshua over. He always made him feel safe, even though Joshua never really comforted Martin when he got beat up in high school.

"So he beat you up Martin?"

"Well he didn’t beat me up but he threw me on my back, I could have broke my neck or something…."

"Martin stop being such a wuss, this is the real world! You have to be ready to defend yourself."

"Are you wearing your baseball practice outfit? In my house? That thing is so filthy!"

"Stop being such a girl! Where did dad go wrong with you? Yes it is my practice outfit. And don’t hate Jordan so much, he is the MVP on the baseball team now."

"Already!?! Didn’t he start a couple weeks ago?"

"Kid’s got talent what can I say. I gotta take off though, me, Jorden, and the rest of the guys are taking a club night out before I marry Tiffany."

"Oh so it’s your bachelor party? Musta lost my invite it the mail. Don’t get any stranger pregnant now Josh." Joshua grinned at Martin before leaving the room.

Lisa was home late that night. "You wouldn’t believe it Martin, there was a patient who had gotten sick after cleaning her toilet and we couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her until-"

‘Lisa." Martin interrupted her.

"Yes?"

"Let’s have babies."